The Lost Tapes

Every day Philip and I send instant messages back and forth while he's at work. The following are real excerpts from real conversations in this past week alone. It's a wonder he gets any work done at all with the deep issues I ask him to ponder.

me: I have ideas - lots of them

Philip: ok

me: and they're all floating around

everywhere

I need a pensieve

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me: how bad is it for the cats, do you think, if their food is laced with Nesquik?

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me: this candy I made for tonight - so bad for the teeth - but so yummy on the tongue

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me: Have I mentioned before that I'm a big fan of butt ruffles?

Philip: ;)

I think so

me: ok

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me:I'm using a free sample of Crest Whitestrips that we got in the mail and I'm not sure how I feel about them

I keep tasting the bleach and feeling like that's not good - but if it wasn't good it wouldn't be marketed to be left in someone's mouth for a half hour . . . right?

me: um, I think it's slipping off, which I don't think it's supposed to do

especially not since it's the "Advanced Seal" strip

me: btw, I kept the strips on 5 min longer than I was supposed to

Philip: ok

me: so if my teeth fall out, we have to blame it on my losing track of time

:(

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me: http://balletoklahoma.com/performances.html

They'll be performing The Wizard of Oz at the end of March

sigh

I want to go to a ballet

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me: I forgot to ask what cereal you wanted this week, and I forgot my cell, so I just guessed - but I'm glad I got what I did because while unloading the groceries I realized . . .

you get a free racecar in your cinnamon toast crunch!

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me: you know the woman in the guiness book with the longest fingernails?

(I remember seeing her in a special on TLC or something like that)

Philip: Yes... she and I have tea every second thursday

:P

me: shut up

Philip: What about her ;)

me: she lost her fingernails in a car crash

they hadn't been cut since 1979

Philip: Wow

I'd be sad, but seriously... that's just gross

me: it's really gross, but if you think about it from her perspective, that has to be pretty devastating

it's her claim to fame, she's lived with those nails for THIRTY years

it's like losing a friend

I would imagine

Yes, we're quite profound. I'll bet some of you are sad I don't keep you entertained while you're at work. I'll bet.

Whachyou Talkin' 'Bout, Willis? (Or more correctly, Who?)

Here we go again, learning from Numbers. Who reads Numbers? I tell you what, I wouldn't if it wasn't part of the daily plan I've been following for the past two years. Today it's Miriam and Aaron - did you ever notice (I didn't until I sat down to write this) that God seems to most severely punish those sins that are commited by more than one person together? We have the example of Nadab and Abihu - struck dead, Ananias and Sapphira (we remember them, don't we? Refer to Acts 5 for a refresher) - struck dead, and now it's Miriam and Aaron - one of whom is struck leprous. Interesting, isn't it? Notice how we tend to be more eager to do wrong if we have company. Because obviously if someone else willing to spiral down with you, it can't be that bad, right? I think maybe God chooses to nip corporate sin in the bud before the cancer of those willing to pull others with them eats the church alive. Maybe. That's just my interpretation.

But that's not our point for today.

In today's example we find the nation of Israel still wandering the desert (always wandering the desert) and Moses has apparently married a Cushite woman. Well, you can read it for yourself,

"Then Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Cushite woman he had married (for he had married a Cushite woman) [Am I the only one who laughs at that parenthetical statement? I love the need to clarify that they're not speaking against Moses for marrying the Cushite woman that he had not, in fact, married. But I digress. Let's read on, shall we?]; and then they said, 'Has He not spoken through us as well?'" (Numbers 12:1-2).

I will summarize the rest as being that God was obviously not pleased with Miriam and Aaron grumbling against the one He had chosen (their very own brother, by blood, no less), so he called them all for a pow-wow (and you thought being called into the principal's office was scary?!), He tells them He will speak to whom He sees fit to speak and if He should see fit to speak to Moses, then how can they not be afraid to speak against him? In the end, Miriam is a leprous mess, Moses tries to plea for his sister, but she has to sit it out for a week before God will lift the disease. Definitely a much milder punishment than Nad and Ab, but definitely not a happy reaction from God.

Now, let's backtrack - what was their sin? They spoke against the one God had chosen. In their speaking against him they a)were complaining about something specific he'd done that they didn't think he should be doing (I'm not going to pretend I have any idea what the deal is with Moses specifically marrying a Cushite woman is, but I know they didn't like it) and b)they cut Moses down by saying, in effect, "Who does he think he is? He's no better than either of us."

Seriously, people, as Tim Hawkins would say, do you even need a punchline? I know I cannot be the only one who reads this conversation and thinks, "Hmmm. That sounds familiar." And only half of the examples in my head are my own - because aren't we just as quick to say, even if only to ourselves, "That sounds just like so-and-so!" and in doing so, aren't we doing the same thing we're condemning them of? Seriously! I know I am not the only one guilty. But I am also not fool enough to assume that this comraderie of sin makes mine any more excusable.

People, God hates it when we speak against other members of his body. When we see the work someone is doing for the church and we bash on it, saying we could totally do that better. And, yet, are we willing to actually do the work ourselves? And even if we are willing, have we been appointed to do so? In addition, we see something another member is doing and put that in the category of, "Things I Would Never Do", thereby giving ourselves the right to discuss it openly and, might I add, not exactly lovingly, with fellow believers.

We are pulling each other down into our own pits of mire and then wondering why we're covered in mud. Funny how when we're the ones slinging it, it sticks mostly to ourselves, doesn't it?

So, here's the lesson I'm taking from this - I need to keep my mouth shut. I don't care what the situation is, who is in it, or how it affects me - I have no right to speak against another member of God's body unless I am going to speak to them about the issue first. And if I'm going to talk to them about my problems, I better be praying and having my heart right first.

God puts certain people in certain places and I trust Him to do so. I'm sure He's glad He has my permission now. Right.

The Year of the Scarf?

Alright, I will confess. I have recently become quite addicted to keeping up with the lives of complete strangers for no other reason than the fact that I have little else to do (or I like to pretend I have little else to do, such as putting away the laundry that is currently resting, serenely folded - at least I got that far - on the couch) than read the blogs of other women who also happen to live completely imperfect lives and are having a great time with it!

On said blogs there has been somewhat of a recurring theme of scarf-wearing as one of these has deemed it the Year of the Scarf on the fashion zodiac (You can catch up on these intriguing threads here, here, and here). I initially read these posts (or more accurately watched these posts as those in question were introduced in the form of video blogs - would those be vlogs?) with a grain of salt because I understand that while I love to cozy up with a nice scarf when the weather calls for it, or should call for it even when it's 75 in January, I rarely wear one apart from my coat, meaning it is far from a fashion accessory for me. In fact, almost all things fall out of the category of my fashion accessory of choice - if it's not covering something vital or instrumental in keeping something that's covering something vital in place (ie, a belt), then I don't wear it. It's just one more step for me to avoid in the morning and one less thing for my money to be poured into. (Let me take this moment to clarify - I do admire the way other woman accessorize so well, I'm just not that gifted in that area, that's all.)

However . . . a thought did occur to me that I happened to have a nice black scarf gifted to me by a very generous mother-in-law, purchased in some South American country (the scarf, not the mother-in-law), that has been napping very nicely along with my sweaters which has yet to be worn because, as mentioned above, I am not the fashion maven I play on T.V. (or anywhere).

So, today was the day! In a last-ditch effort to avoid packing (as in, I was in the room, I had a stack of clothes to choose from for the weekend and then I thought of the scarf - yes! Diversion created!), I decided this was my moment. I propped my fashion consultant (ie, my 4-month-old daughter) on a couple of pillows in the middle of the bed so she could better aid me in my fashion foray. I pulled out the scarf, I tugged on a white T-shirt and I tried out the combo.

My first effort yielded a raised eyebrow from the critic that said, "Mom, what are you doing? Just put the scarf away. You know you are not that cool." But I was not to be easily deterred - I tried once more, adjusted, re-adjusted, and turned around to show the new finished product.

A big grin, arms flapping wildly. I took that to mean, "Bravo, Mom! You're on your way to being a fashion diva, yet."



PS Here is a really bad self-portrait of my efforts (and my gorgeous critic - who, as you'll notice, may have had an ulterior motive in supporting my choice - she's just excited about a new toy around mama's neck):

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

A nearly $600 stroller for FREE?! Sign me up!

Too Sweet

Our church is working through the book "Signs of Life" by David Jeremiah. The other day Philip and I read about how we, as Christians, are to be the salt of the earth (we're a couple of days behind - shh . . . don't tell). Obviously the concept of Christians as the salt of the earth is hardly new - neither are most of the points Dr. Jeremiah makes - that salt is meant to preserve, or provide flavor. What was somewhat of a new train of thought for me, however, was the idea that salt promotes thirst and that we, as Christians, are to promote in others a thirst for God. The ending question was, "As the salt of the earth, what am I doing that causes others to thirst for the living water?"
As I drove Philip to work that morning he made some snide comment to a car that cut me off and I reminded him we're supposed to be salty. His response is, "Isn't salt bitter?" It was a joke, and we obviously both understand that making rude comments to other drivers is not the proper way to live out our Christian faith, but a thought occurred to me through all of that - while being the salt of the earth may not indicate carrying an attitude of bitterness, it also doesn't point toward eternal sweetness.
A rampant theology in the church today (especially among the women, especially in the southern region) is that we are called to be the sugar of the earth. We are constantly killing others with kindness - painting on our smiles, hiding our true feelings, oozing as syrup with the sweetness we portray (even if at home we wipe off all the sugar to show the garbage beneath - speaking from myself here). We even sugar-coat the truth, attempting to avoid offense.
Please don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a little sweetness. Sometimes sweet is just who you are, but even the best chocolate chip cookies need a little salt - we need honesty, reality and something that makes others long for more than a glass of milk.
Consider the fact that salt on food deters decay and, yet, sugar encourages decay (consider what the dentist has always told us). When you feed someone sugar what they desire is more sugar - they crave it, they stuff their face with it, then they get crash from it.
When we feed others sweetness, they want more of us, when we feed them salt, they look for the Water.

Cleanliness is next to . . .

A little bit of cleanliness goes a long way. My first year of marriage we lived in the tiniest apartment known to man, with NO storage - as a result the majority of our belongings had no designated home. My husband can attest to days when I just broke down completely and we HAD to get out so I could think clearly. I would drive around town, just to have space. Amazingly, though, when we cleaned, cleared out the clutter, my mind suddenly felt free.

As someone who lives somewhat near the dirtier end of the scale between Neat Freak Maven and Hoarder's Haven, it is surprising to me that my mental clarity does seem to be so closely related to the state of my home - trust me, my mother would be surprised at this revelation coming from the daughter she once had to bribe with a mystery prize for cleaning her room, and then had to give her said prize as a birthday present THREE MONTHS later because the room NEVER got cleaned!

Perhaps it's society that has led me to believe I am a failure as a wife and a mother when I cannot even keep the physical being of my home in order, but whatever the reason, I find that the best solution these days is to just close the door to the offending room and pretend it doesn't exist. Thus, the living areas of our home, the rooms with no door in our open floor plan, are those that are routinely cleared (not daily, mind you, just routinely - meaning weekly or whenever someone's coming for a visit) and those with doors - we just won't talk about those.

Refund, Please!

I'm a freak. I know it. That's the important part, right?

I like doing my taxes. Maybe more than like, I kind of REALLY enjoy it. To the point that I was giddy when Philip brought home his W-2 on Friday (Yes, January 2, I say way to go to his PR woman, Angie). I have had to tell myself twice that I have other priorities at the moment besides getting the taxes done (ie, homeschool students would like to have graded papers on Monday and my house needs to be clean for guests tomorrow evening - taxes don't need to be done until April - so if they don't happen until next week, I'll be ok). Seriously - I'm tempted to procrastinate by doing my taxes. Who else DOES that?!