Marriage is so weird.
It's pretty much the only time in one's life (barring unforeseen circumstances) that you look at another person and say,
"You know what? I like you. And even though I haven't known you for an extremely long time, I know I like you so much that I want to see your face pretty much every. single. day. for the rest of my life. I want to hear your voice every morning and every night - I don't think it will ever annoy me.
"I want us to make tiny people that look just like us and will drive us insane - I mean, literally, we'll question our sanity - but, for the most part, should be fun. And then we'll somehow raise these little people to be responsible adults. You and me. Who are barely responsible adults ourselves. Yeah, we're gonna do that.
"And because you'll be breathing the same air as me every day, you're going to see me be pretty ugly. It's okay, though. I mean, I like you. And I trust you. And I trust that you'll see that ugly and still somehow like me. Most days. And you'll see me go through some really hard things - because life, itself, is awfully ugly at times - and I trust that you'll hold my hand when I cry and somehow still see beauty on that scrunched-up, red, blotchy, tear-stained face. And more than that, you'll somehow help me to survive those days. And I think I can do the same for you.
"Don't get me wrong. There will be days we'll get pretty angry with one another. We're not going to agree. And we might get to the same page, or we might have to agree to disagree. We'll get so bitterly angry on some days that if you were anyone else, I'd probably stop responding to your facebook messages or I'd just decide we're better as arm's-length friends. But since it'll be you, I'll have to remind myself that I really do like you and that we're stuck with each other, so I'll try my best to see things from your point of view or at least to admit that, while you may not be right, you're not necessarily wrong, either. And that will have to be okay.
And then we'll do this. Every. Single. Day. Until we die.
I mean, really, how does that sound? Sound good? Want to do that?"
"I do."
Really. It's crazy.
If anyone else said that to us, we'd run away and maybe file a restraining order. But when we wrap it all up in a pretty white package tied to a shiny ring, we're okay with it.
It's clear to me this is a God-created institution. Because only a man in a different kind of institution would have decided we were capable of such a commitment. Yet our Creator created us to love - in the same crazy, unconditional way He loves us. And He welcomes us into this kind of relationship with one another to show us just how crazy and unconditional that kind of love is. How hard and, yet, how unbelievably worth it it is, too.
Which is why the only reason this insane institution works is when we choose to let Him show us how it's done.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
27 December 2014
08 August 2012
Of My Undeserved Love
Yesterday morning, after staying up too late, yet again - an ongoing theme during these days of Olympic prime-time airing until 11pm and my inability to get ready before they're over - I was caught in a dream as my husband, who had been up for an hour or so already, preparing for work, woke me by whispering our youngest was ready to eat. So, he brought me the baby and while I was done feeding him, my husband came back in, took the little guy back, changed his diaper and laid him back down.
Then, he came in our room to fix the toilet, yet again, because it was running, yet again. And while I stood next to him, feeling guilty for still being so groggy after clearly having slept longer than he and still knowing I would be able to sleep even after he was gone, he was putting his hand to my back, guiding me back to the bed, tucking me in and kissing me good-bye before he left to work hard on my behalf.
I am so blessed.
Daily I get more sleep than this man. And he never holds it over my head. Not even on the occasional Saturday morning when I gripe that he's sleeping until 11 and I just want one morning of not having to prepare breakfast for our little ones the minute I get up. Not even on the rare day when I debate napping - on those days he tells me, always, that I should.
Would I do the same?
Doubtful. In me dwells bitterness. I have my days when I recognize how much better my job is than his. But I also have the days when I gripe and whine and detail for him every minute of my crazy child-filled day, begging for pity, begging for a break.
So when it comes to sleep, I know if I were him I'd be rolling my eyes every time that wife of mine, the one who woke up at nine that morning, the one who kept us both up until midnight, mentioned being tired.
Grateful every day for a man I don't deserve. The one who loves me better than I know to love him and cares for me with the greatest tenderness and lack of selfish motivation.
He is truly my greatest blessing.
1,000 Gifts:
734. Female camaraderie
735. Road trips
736. A knowing smile
737. Sharing stories of God's goodness
Photo of the Day:
As we were preparing for lunch this afternoon, the two big kids in their chairs and Little Man playing on the floor we suddenly heard the tinkling of piano keys. And there he was, sitting at the piano, loving it as he plunked his hands on the keys. He sure does like his music.
For those of you interested in how we're doing during our Whole 30, I'll be including a daily update. For those of you not interested, you have my permission to check out now.
Whole 30 - Day One:
Breakfast - Eggs, scrambled with Coconut Oil, and a Nectarine
Lunch - Romaine and Spinach topped with Cherry Tomatoes and Shredded Chicken (sprinkled with Chipotle Rub before cooking) and drizzled with Olive Oil and Balsamic Vinegar
Dinner - Mexi Salad (substituted Chicken for Beef because it's what we had)
Evening Snack - Mixed Nuts
Worst Moment of the Day: Longing for chocolate. Any chocolate.
Best Moment of the Day: Licking my guacamole fork knowing I just made something amazing and it's good for us! Healthy eating does not equal bland eating.
Then, he came in our room to fix the toilet, yet again, because it was running, yet again. And while I stood next to him, feeling guilty for still being so groggy after clearly having slept longer than he and still knowing I would be able to sleep even after he was gone, he was putting his hand to my back, guiding me back to the bed, tucking me in and kissing me good-bye before he left to work hard on my behalf.
I am so blessed.
Daily I get more sleep than this man. And he never holds it over my head. Not even on the occasional Saturday morning when I gripe that he's sleeping until 11 and I just want one morning of not having to prepare breakfast for our little ones the minute I get up. Not even on the rare day when I debate napping - on those days he tells me, always, that I should.
Would I do the same?
Doubtful. In me dwells bitterness. I have my days when I recognize how much better my job is than his. But I also have the days when I gripe and whine and detail for him every minute of my crazy child-filled day, begging for pity, begging for a break.
So when it comes to sleep, I know if I were him I'd be rolling my eyes every time that wife of mine, the one who woke up at nine that morning, the one who kept us both up until midnight, mentioned being tired.
Grateful every day for a man I don't deserve. The one who loves me better than I know to love him and cares for me with the greatest tenderness and lack of selfish motivation.
He is truly my greatest blessing.
1,000 Gifts:
734. Female camaraderie
735. Road trips
736. A knowing smile
737. Sharing stories of God's goodness
Photo of the Day:
As we were preparing for lunch this afternoon, the two big kids in their chairs and Little Man playing on the floor we suddenly heard the tinkling of piano keys. And there he was, sitting at the piano, loving it as he plunked his hands on the keys. He sure does like his music.
For those of you interested in how we're doing during our Whole 30, I'll be including a daily update. For those of you not interested, you have my permission to check out now.
Whole 30 - Day One:
Breakfast - Eggs, scrambled with Coconut Oil, and a Nectarine
Lunch - Romaine and Spinach topped with Cherry Tomatoes and Shredded Chicken (sprinkled with Chipotle Rub before cooking) and drizzled with Olive Oil and Balsamic Vinegar
Dinner - Mexi Salad (substituted Chicken for Beef because it's what we had)
Evening Snack - Mixed Nuts
Worst Moment of the Day: Longing for chocolate. Any chocolate.
Best Moment of the Day: Licking my guacamole fork knowing I just made something amazing and it's good for us! Healthy eating does not equal bland eating.
23 September 2011
Of New Worlds
Philip and I went to our first Chinese buffet tonight. This may not seem that exciting to you, but after years of us both agreeing we did not like Chinese food and being adamant about this fact to others, it was a huge step.
The door really started to creak open when Philip first began regularly attending a Thai restaurant with some co-workers about a year into our marriage. Though the job and the lunches didn't last more than a summer, his new desire for Spicy Garlic Chicken did.
Thus, we began exploring frozen food kits that might scratch his new itch, but the idea of actually using our sparse "Dining Out" budget to venture into a restaurant of Asian descent was not high on our to-do list. After four years, however, of grocery store Wanchai Ferry and my own varieties of stir fry, I decided it might be our time to cover new ground. And so we did it.
I figured a buffet would be a good idea, since we're still new to the Chinese food market, but it did lead to some awkward moments for newbies to a restaurant where everyone is clearly a regular (Do we seat ourselves or wait? Now that we have a table, do we jump right to the food line or wait?). Many of our questions came with the whispered response, "Let's just see what the people at that table over there do." Plate in hand, we both moved slowly down the line of heat lamps and serving platters, carefully reading the yellow tags above each item (which was kind of key at first, since everything on the first table was the same golden color of fried batter - I wasn't sure I'd even be able to tell what I was actually eating when I got back to the table).
We finally found our groove, though, and after ingesting one delectable bite after another, picking through one tiny portion after another and finding none I did not think divine, I finally had to admit to Philip, "I think we have to start telling people we like Chinese food. In fact, if I were honest, I'd say I love it."
Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks? I am a changed woman, indeed.
The door really started to creak open when Philip first began regularly attending a Thai restaurant with some co-workers about a year into our marriage. Though the job and the lunches didn't last more than a summer, his new desire for Spicy Garlic Chicken did.
Thus, we began exploring frozen food kits that might scratch his new itch, but the idea of actually using our sparse "Dining Out" budget to venture into a restaurant of Asian descent was not high on our to-do list. After four years, however, of grocery store Wanchai Ferry and my own varieties of stir fry, I decided it might be our time to cover new ground. And so we did it.
I figured a buffet would be a good idea, since we're still new to the Chinese food market, but it did lead to some awkward moments for newbies to a restaurant where everyone is clearly a regular (Do we seat ourselves or wait? Now that we have a table, do we jump right to the food line or wait?). Many of our questions came with the whispered response, "Let's just see what the people at that table over there do." Plate in hand, we both moved slowly down the line of heat lamps and serving platters, carefully reading the yellow tags above each item (which was kind of key at first, since everything on the first table was the same golden color of fried batter - I wasn't sure I'd even be able to tell what I was actually eating when I got back to the table).
We finally found our groove, though, and after ingesting one delectable bite after another, picking through one tiny portion after another and finding none I did not think divine, I finally had to admit to Philip, "I think we have to start telling people we like Chinese food. In fact, if I were honest, I'd say I love it."
Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks? I am a changed woman, indeed.
08 August 2011
Of Movie Night
As Philip and I settled in this evening, I with my chosen craft and he with his, for a quiet movie night, I glanced at the clock, noting, at just past 8 o'clock, that we may even be able to squeeze in two movies if they were of reasonable length.
But it was not to be so.
Between rising to investigate the pending "severe thunderstorm" rolling into town, multiple snack breaks for this hungry mama, a pause to mop up the half-bottle of juice which my husband successfully exploded on the kitchen floor, his attempts at brewing tea, changing a little boy who was hot and sweaty in his crib, then, later, bathing said boy who had now vomited his dinner over himself and his crib, comforting same boy, reading another bed-time story and nestling him back into bed, running the washing machine to rinse soiled bedding and pajamas, then running another cycle to include the juice-soaked towels and mop-head, along with aforementioned soiled bedding and pajamas, it would seem a two-hour movie can, apparently, easily consume a span of three and a half hours.
When did movie night become so complicated?
But it was not to be so.
Between rising to investigate the pending "severe thunderstorm" rolling into town, multiple snack breaks for this hungry mama, a pause to mop up the half-bottle of juice which my husband successfully exploded on the kitchen floor, his attempts at brewing tea, changing a little boy who was hot and sweaty in his crib, then, later, bathing said boy who had now vomited his dinner over himself and his crib, comforting same boy, reading another bed-time story and nestling him back into bed, running the washing machine to rinse soiled bedding and pajamas, then running another cycle to include the juice-soaked towels and mop-head, along with aforementioned soiled bedding and pajamas, it would seem a two-hour movie can, apparently, easily consume a span of three and a half hours.
When did movie night become so complicated?
30 July 2011
Of Wonder Woman
I tried to be Wonder Woman today and it definitely caught up with me.
After an early morning errand run (ok, so it was 10am, but for a Saturday, it feels early, and, besides, it was still at a time when the majority of those I'm running into at the grocery store are nearing the end of a century), I unloaded my goods and went to work. Now, I'll have to admit, I wasn't really aiming too terribly high. Compared to many moms out there, I was really heading more toward Wonder Woman's sidekick than the main star herself. I definitely wasn't going for a months' worth of meals in one day (people do it!), but I felt ambitious nonetheless.
I stuck a full chicken in my Deep Covered Baker (from the Pampered Chef - I know a lady, wink, wink), popped it in the microwave for 45 minutes and started on my next task, boiling eggs for coming breakfasts.
With our new endeavor of eating right, I want to be prepared with good foods that have a lot of the work done already. Kind of home-processed foods. Between looking up recipes and realizing I was not quite prepared for the homemade chicken broth I was hoping for, keeping up with a whiny Emmett who was a half hour past the point of no-morning-nap, and dealing with the eggs, I found myself wiped at the precise moment when the family was ready for lunch. Weariness caught up with this pregnant momma and I almost couldn't see straight. Trouble.
This is why I keep my trusty man around. Without him, I would be headed for disaster on days like today when I demand too much of myself. With him by my side, we got the kids fed, down for naps, the first chicken carved, bagged and frozen (with the yucky remainders frozen for another day of chicken broth-making) and the next in the microwave just in time for us to lay down for a little bit, as well (the kids aren't the only ones who need their rest). And with him by my side, we had another chicken carved, bagged and frozen just in time to prepare biscuits (with a quick jaunt to the store for much-needed flour), stuffed tomatoes and a salad to accompany some of the previously-prepared bird for dinner. Now that's team work.
That's why I like that guy. He loves me even when I'm not Wonder Woman (which, for the record, is all the time).
After an early morning errand run (ok, so it was 10am, but for a Saturday, it feels early, and, besides, it was still at a time when the majority of those I'm running into at the grocery store are nearing the end of a century), I unloaded my goods and went to work. Now, I'll have to admit, I wasn't really aiming too terribly high. Compared to many moms out there, I was really heading more toward Wonder Woman's sidekick than the main star herself. I definitely wasn't going for a months' worth of meals in one day (people do it!), but I felt ambitious nonetheless.
I stuck a full chicken in my Deep Covered Baker (from the Pampered Chef - I know a lady, wink, wink), popped it in the microwave for 45 minutes and started on my next task, boiling eggs for coming breakfasts.
With our new endeavor of eating right, I want to be prepared with good foods that have a lot of the work done already. Kind of home-processed foods. Between looking up recipes and realizing I was not quite prepared for the homemade chicken broth I was hoping for, keeping up with a whiny Emmett who was a half hour past the point of no-morning-nap, and dealing with the eggs, I found myself wiped at the precise moment when the family was ready for lunch. Weariness caught up with this pregnant momma and I almost couldn't see straight. Trouble.
This is why I keep my trusty man around. Without him, I would be headed for disaster on days like today when I demand too much of myself. With him by my side, we got the kids fed, down for naps, the first chicken carved, bagged and frozen (with the yucky remainders frozen for another day of chicken broth-making) and the next in the microwave just in time for us to lay down for a little bit, as well (the kids aren't the only ones who need their rest). And with him by my side, we had another chicken carved, bagged and frozen just in time to prepare biscuits (with a quick jaunt to the store for much-needed flour), stuffed tomatoes and a salad to accompany some of the previously-prepared bird for dinner. Now that's team work.
That's why I like that guy. He loves me even when I'm not Wonder Woman (which, for the record, is all the time).
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