Of My Life as a Single Mom

As my man has left me for the day to go gallivanting around the fine metropolis that is Tulsa, commandeering my computer while he is away, I am left to fend for myself leaving you a photo-less play-by-play of the day (save the two images snapped on my phone and sent to Facebook - as I've found e-mailing to be the most inefficient means to sharing those pictures - well, unless four days is considered efficient) - but, just now, I'm posting and then, tomorrow, you'll get a re-cap via photograph.  Isn't that exciting for you?  Living my ordinary day twice in a row?

So, here it is . . . My Day as a Single Mom

8:30am: I wake up to Emmett crying.  Not through the monitor, because I had kind of turned that down about a half hour ago.  I wait for him to stop - sometimes Micaiah isn't so nice when they're playing alone in their room and she causes him to fuss before he quickly gets over it.  He is not quickly getting over it this time.  So, I enter the room to find Emmett distressed because he "Bump"ed - meaning he fell - off of his sister's dresser - the same one he gets a spanking for playing on every day.  I explain, this is why we don't get on the dresser.  To his way-too-tired-because-he-woke-up-too-early-before-climbing-on-the-dresser toddler mind, this teachable moment was entirely lost.  Then I put a Toy Story VHS into the mini-TV/VCR in the corner of their room, the one that has only been used in this house about twice, tell them to sit in Micaiah's bed and leave to go back to sleep.  Yes, I did.  Only I had been out of my room for long enough that Joey noticed (seriously, he can sleep for a couple hours when I'm next to him, but always seems to wake up within minutes of my leaving - he always just knows), so that he was no longer happy.  And after making him happy, I was no longer tired.

9:00am: I shower.

9:20am: Before rescuing the children from their Disney baby-sitter, I head to place my mug (I've mentioned it follows me everywhere) and cell phone in the living room - a daily ritual.  It is there I discover the two baskets of laundry which have been migrating around the house, unfolded, all week have been folded by my man before he left the house at an hour earlier than that at which he typically leaves for work.  (This is where I deviate from a single mom who, sadly, does not have a laundry fairy loitering about.)  I love that man.

9:40am: We're eating breakfast to the tune of Toy Story, which is now playing in the living room because I just can't make them walk away from Buzz.  I then decide we will venture out for errands.  With all three kids.  By myself.  Only, I plan to cheat - there's no way I'm actually getting all of them out of the car.  We're doing quick, in-and-out stops wherein I never let the car out of my sight.  I'm plugging in a DVD, keeping the key in the ignition and the remote lock in my pocket.  Yes, I am.

10:30am: We're finally out the door and I'm praying that youngest just keeps on sleeping and doesn't realize he didn't get to eat before we left.  And if he does, I'll just explain to him it's his fault.  He's the one who chose to not wake up when I tried to fill his belly.  He'll understand, I'm sure.

10:40am: Seriously?  I'm parked in the bank drive-thru and my car won't start?  Who would I even call?  My husband is in Tulsa.  My sister-in-law is in Kansas City.  I have three kids in my car.  And I'm in the bank drive-thru.  What the heck?  Fortunately it took me only a full panickie minute of turning the key back and forth and realizing it won't even leave the ignition, to discover I'd failed to put the car in park before turning off the ignition (something I always do at the bank, after reading an article in Reader's Digest about conserving gas - I don't know if it works, I just do it - because Reader's Digest said so).

11:30am: We made it.  The kids were totally tuned out to "The Emperor's New Groove" the entire time - except for Joey, who did succeed in sleeping for the duration of the hour-long trip.  Faux-outing with the kids = success!

11:45am: So glad we didn't stay home if this epic melt-down from the aforementioned too-tired Emmett is really what I would have faced at home.  Grateful for the hour of zoning out in the car instead of screaming about every minute incident at home.  Yes, I am.

12:45pm: After feeding Littlest, the rest of us have lunch and Emmett is finally not screaming again.  But that could have something to do with The Care Bears.  At the end of this movie, when we're all encouraged to declare our caring to save the innocent camper, I tell Micaiah, "I care.  Do you care?"  To which she matter-of-factly responds, "No."  Alright then.

1:55pm: They're all napping!  Okay, they're all laying down.  Okay, one is laying down, the other two are in their room.  Does that count?

2:15pm: Emmett is out like a light and because I need him to get his full amount of rest if I'm to survive the evening, I send Micaiah to my bed where there are no distractions (ie, toys) and, if she still chooses to not slumber she will at least not wake her brothers.

4:30pm: Emmett is still out - the legs dangling out of his bed while his upper half sprawls across the width of the mattress definitely indicate that.  Checking on Micaiah, however, one wonders if she's really been trying to get Daddy's Nintendo DS to work for all of the past two hours, or if she's recently awoken and just now begun to entertain herself.  I'm choosing to believe the latter.

5:10pm: I love watching Micaiah play by herself.  She really is awfully sweet as she pretends her purple-plastic-beaded necklace is a snake crawling over Mommy and Joey.  Really wondering at which point I should wake my eldest son.

5:40pm: Oh, look on the monitor!  Emmett is stirring!  I wait to send in Micaiah, though, so he can get his bearings before being ambushed - no one is nice when they first wake up and, again, we don't want a cranky Emmett.

6:30pm: Well, dinner was a success with one of them at least.  I totally pulled out the girlie food: Chilled Strawberry Soup and Oatmeal Cookie Sandwiches (yes, they were a main dish, don't judge me - the magazine said it could even be served for breakfast - and I believe it, because the magazine said so).  Not gonna lie, it's what was on the menu even before I knew Philip would be gone for the day, but he's not sad to be missing it.  Micaiah wouldn't have been, either.  Unfortunately, she's here and she just needs to deal with the fact that yes, it's soup and yes, it's cold.  It's supposed to be that way, now eat it.

6:45pm: Getting the bath started because, even when he loves the food, it gets everywhere, especially if it involves soup and/or cream cheese (or both, in one meal).  Strawberry Soup in the hair is not quite the fashion accessory we go for in this house.  I'd hoped to avoid this process for the evening because Philip has been doing the baths for the elders lately and, well, I kind of like it that way.

7:15pm: Letting Emmett pick the next movie for the day because it's about time.  He, apparently, is tired of Disney, too, as he opts for "Robots" and they both snuggle with their blankets on separate couches - and I figure we'll stay up a little late tonight because, well, we can.

7:45pm: Joey's getting a little tummytime on the floor, because he's totally tired of hanging out on his back.  Or, at least I thought so.  Did he just roll over?  Had to have been a fluke.  He's done that on the sofa a time or two, but I always attributed it to gravity taking over on the slanted cushion.  Wait.  Did he just roll over again?  Seriously? I know my other kids were late bloomers, but I swear six weeks is too early for this.

7:50pm: Noticing how gorgeous Micaiah's post-bath curls are, I decide to document this for the future.  She asks if she can make a silly face while I take her picture.  Then she pulls out the "Hot Dog Face."  I didn't even know she had such control over her tongue already.

8:15pm: I try to explain to Micaiah that if they're not even watching it, it doesn't really matter if I told them they'd go to bed when the movie was over.  And, yet, the movie stays on - and they keep running around yelling to each other, "Tag, you're it!"  I get concerned when Joey is pronounced "It" - will they really keep running until he can catch them in about a year?

8:45pm: They're in bed (the older ones, anyway - Tiny Man is still crying, we'll deal with that soon) - I survived!

9:00pm: Why are they still talking?  Why are they always still talking?  Wait, I know it's dark here in their roombut I'm pretty sure there is no little boy under that blanket.  And he's not in her bed, like he normally is when there's trouble.  "Emmett?"  With a swoosh of the curtain, there he is, on the dresser.  Again.

Sigh.

1,000 Gifts:
139. A man who takes care of the house when I don't.
140. Technology to entertain the kids on a morning of errands.
141. Adventurous spirits.
142. Emmett's words are getting clearer.  Today I heard, "Tag, you're it" as well as "time-out."
143. After rinsing her hair, "Now I'm good as new!"
144. Commands that are sometimes ignored but sometimes followed.


Taking Time for Play: Home
Finally, a picture of those much talked-of clothes, scattered across the living room, but folded - that's the important part.

Of Telling the Truth

For those who have followed the potty training saga, you know it has been a struggle.  However, for the past few months, Micaiah has been doing great.  She still wears a diaper/training pants at nap-time and bed-time, but we're happy with where we're at for the present.  When she's ready to potty, she pulls her little white step-stool up to the toilet, pulls her potty seat from its hook and sets it in place, then climbs up and takes care of business.

It can be a struggle, though, when it's time for bed and she is hesitant to go to sleep.  One way in which she rebels is to drag her feet in going potty.  She'll go in the bathroom and hide behind the door, or (if she doesn't want to be spanked for that) she'll simply move as slow as humanly possible in putting everything in place.  It's a habit we've been trying to break.

Thus, this afternoon, when it was time for a nap, it was no surprise to me when she refused to go potty.  I once again commanded her before I went a separate direction to get something else done.  When I returned, I noted the light on the in the bathroom, but no stool in front of the toilet, or even in the room, and the potty seat was still on its hook, though I had never heard her move it to or from.  This girl was going to be in T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

"Micaiah!" I yelled calmly stated, "Why aren't you on the potty?!"
"Because I already make water." [that's her self-created euphemism]
"Are you lying to me?" I asked angrily as I went to retrieve the stool from the kitchen (a task I would normally assign to her, but this getting-ready-for-bed thing was taking too long already), surprised she would lie about using the potty - she has lied about other things, but we can always count on the truth in this matter.
"No."
"Then how did you go potty without a stool?" I asked, smugly, holding up the white object that was so clearly catching her in her deception.
Innocently, she shrugged, "I just climbed up."
I noticed, then, that she was wearing underwear, but no pants.  She typically only takes off the pants after going potty.  Could she really be telling the truth?
"Show me." I demanded.
Sure enough, there goes my little three-year-old, into the bathroom as she pulls down her underpants and lifts herself to the seat - no stool, no potty seat, just her and the toilet, like a big girl.

When did this happen?!  Oh my word, she's growing up!

1,000 Gifts:
133. A long-distance relationship with my sister, kept alive via Google chat.
134. Our wonderful neighbor who isn't afraid to try new recipes - we're always willing guinea pigs.
135. A gracious heart learning to trust in the Lord for her needs.
136. A small green tin, adorned with images of Santa Claus, filled with plastic jewels to help our little girl celebrate the tv's "pretend birthday."
137. A glass cake platter topped with delicious Coca-Cola Carrot Cupcakes.
138. A new way to use an old shelf.


Taking Time for Play: Toys
When Micaiah saw this shelf this morning - one I had pulled from Joey's closet and put out for a new purpose - filled with toys, she exclaimed, "Can I play with them?!"

Of R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I absolutely love the Amplified Bible.  It has a way of breaking down and delving into the meanings of the words, putting all of it right there together in the verse, giving much more depth to what one is reading.  It can be a bit wordy and difficult to follow because of all the supposed bunny trails, but if you're wanting an in-depth look into one small chunk, I would recommend checking out the verses, first, in your preferred translation and, second, in the Amplified (and, third, in The Message, to give an even further dimension).

My women's Bible study at church has been focusing on contentment and this week's challenge is finding contentment in our relationships.  As far as our relationship with our husband, this contentment is clearly to be found in understanding our role as a wife and learning to do that well.

A key verse for this kind of study is typically Ephesians 5:33, "However let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."  There is really so much to be understood from that one small verse, but today, in reading the Amplified version, I found so much more meat, a blueprint, really, for how to love my husband fully.

"However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self, and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]." (Ephesians 5:33 AMP, emphasis added)

Wow!  So much meaning hidden in that tiny command to respect and reverence our husbands (which, let's be honest, can be a challenge in and of itself).  Respect can sometimes be a vague concept and this breakdown provided by the Amplified Bible really puts walking shoes on how we are to live it out.

Sometimes we may defer to our husband and consider that alone as respecting him, but in my deference, am I praising his decisions and making certain he knows I love him and admire him exceedingly?  Or other times I lean more toward being sure he knows I love him deeply, but not trusting him to lead.  Respect is such a dynamic concept and we need to be sure we are living this command fully.

I know these words have challenged me today to love my husband in the way he deserves, as ordained by God himself.

1,000 Gifts:
127. Full instructions on how to love my husband completely.
128. My daughter reciting her first memory verse.
139. Breakfast devotions with an engaged three-year-old (and a little boy who wants to be involved, even if he doesn't understand).
130. Remembering my real "job" is being a mother - and that might mean playing a game and learning not to let it bother me when she doesn't understand the rules.
131. Experimenting with foreign foods from old memories.
132. Finally cleaning out a closet that was well overdue.


Taking Time for Play: Relaxation
That man I love so much enjoys watching Godzilla cartoons on Netflix with all three of his little ones.

My new recipe for the day: Borscht!  Buying the beet for this the other day brought to mind references from both "Doug" and "The Office."  "Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica!"  But it all looks so pretty getting ready to be boiled.  

And the end result was pretty good - maybe not something I'll make again (it wasn't fabulous enough for the amount of work that went into it), but I'm glad I ventured out in our meal plans.

Of Letting it All Out

I've realized part of why my son's middle-of-the-night feeding habits have not at all slowed down is because I have done little to allow him the opportunity.  The slightest sound of squirming at the right time in his "schedule" finds me hurrying to lift him from his resting place to eat, for fear he might soon cry.  Why I fear the crying, I'm not so sure, considering my husband might possibly sleep through a freight train running through our living room and our older children are also rather sound sleepers (or at least are very skilled at dropping back to sleep almost instantaneously).  So, why I worry Little Guy might let out a wail, I'm not so sure.

I've realized, though, the lengthier periods between feedings during the day come when he is allowed to cry for a minute or two (I'm a mother of three, seriously, my daytime hours are not spent waiting to halt the possible fussiness of this newest one, rather praying he'll hold out just a little longer while I finish preparing dinner or changing diapers or whatever other tasks come up) before nodding back off to sleep.

Thus, I had recently decided to employ this trick (you know, the one I don't hesitate to do when they're all the way in the other room, but somehow fail at when they're right next to me) at night before rushing to feed him or even just pulling him into bed so he'll go right back to sleep.  I didn't necessarily plan on running around being busy while he fusses (that's just silly), but waiting him out just a little - because, honestly, most times he doesn't wail.  He wakes, squirms, grunts and settles down again.  But I hadn't been patient enough to realize this fact.

This morning, then, was really the first time I truly held out when, at 5am, after laying him back to bed after feeding, he promptly began wiggling and grunting - which would typically prompt me to pick him back up, either for burping the squirmy worm or just letting him rest beside me.

I waited for a half hour as he made the most adorable sounds - sounds I'd missed previously because I'd been too afraid of the crying.  He kicked, waved his arms, cooed (so cute!), squeaked, squawked, squealed, grunted and giggled (just a little) and just all around made a jungle of wild baby noises.  And I waited, with a small part of me wishing he would settle so I could sleep, but the larger majority just grateful for these tiny noises that won't last long.

Finally, I heard something different - the distinct symphony of this little guy filling his diaper.

Almost instantaneously all other noises stopped as his eyes drifted closed and he fell asleep.

Apparently, sometimes it just takes a little work to get that junk out of your system.

1,000 Gifts:
121. Butter and oil, with a dash of salt, thrown into the stand mixer for [almost] homemade spreadable butter - absolutely delicious.
122. No-Bake Cookies melting in my mouth
123. Enchiladas - the third night in a row of uncontested dinners on the part of our three-year-old - total win.
124. Wooden cake, offered ever-so-generously.
125. The tuft of curls atop the head on the sheep of my favorite onesie.
126. Piano keys tickled by my musically-inclined daughter.


Taking Time for Play: Party Time
Micaiah had some friends over for a couple of hours today - it's always a party with good friends and a reason for dress-up!

PS, I'd like you to note the fourth participant to the party, hidden on the right side of the photo - he was a little distracted by Elmo but he totally had on his party attire, as well.


And a few further photos of today:

Clearly, his expression makes this shot.

 Tiny Man spent some time on the floor today, gazing out the window.  He literally laid here for a half hour doing nothing but kicking his legs, waving his arms and staring outside.  I think he kinda liked it.

 In case you were wondering, this is was the view he had.

And this was the view I had.

All tuckered out from his moment in the sun.

Of Ups and Downs

Micaiah had two "firsts" today.  One good, one not so good.

First, Philip was wearing his awesome "Hotcakes" shirt today and in the process of changing our daughter's diaper, decided to give her a reading lesson.  Five minutes later, she ran out to me and this is what she proudly announced:

"H-O-T.  Hot!  C-A-K-E. Cake! Hotcake!"

She spelled her first word!  And she was quite pleased with herself (as she had every right to be).  And, thus, for the rest of the evening she sauntered around, spelling her words - always the exact same as she did for me.  (In fact, when Philip attempted to spell it all as one word, she quickly informed him he forgot to declare, "Hot" after spelling the first half - this girl is nothing if not particular).

Sadly, she learned the true meaning of that first half of the compound word when she received her first serious burn this evening.  She had been helping me at the stove making No-Bake Cookies and, though I had warned her endlessly not to get too close, she, apparently, while my back was turned, reached across the front of the stove, from the opposite side of the recently turned-off burner, where she'd been standing and touched her finger to the coil.

Because I did not see this action, all I heard was a scream and a cry as my daughter fell off her stool.  The poor thing was so scared she toppled!  A blister quickly formed and her daddy did much to dry her tears, but she sadly learned that even a kiss from Mommy doesn't always make the pain go away.

Now she's learned an important lesson: when Mommy and Daddy say it's hot, they mean it.

And at least now she can spell that.

1,000 Gifts:
115. Overhearing our daughter reading a book to her brother.
116. The way she can be so eager for something one minute and so scared of it the next.
117. Emmett's waddle-run.  Adorable.
118. Our daughter's eagerness to hear her "Jesus" story at breakfast.
119. Putting aside my lunch to hold a son who only wants to know we haven't forgotten him.
120. A dinner declared a winner (even by the cleanliness of Micaiah's bowl when she'd finished).


Taking Time for Play: Family
This photo was actually taken yesterday, but I forgot to share it, and since their brotherly love is the perfect fit for today's theme, we're going with it!

As the above photo wasn't actually taken today, the below is today's actual "photo of the day." As the event is a rarity, I chose to actually document the moment today wherein all pieces of Micaiah's doctor kit were actually in their allotted places.  That lasted all of about 12.2 seconds (or long enough for me to take the picture).

Of Rainy Day Fun

Waking up to pounding rain and rumbling thunder, I knew today called for one thing (the one thing Micaiah was begging for all last week) - time to pull out her tent for some rainy day fun.  And it all started with breakfast:

That's right, I totally sugared them up - it was a big day for them.  But we stuck to finger foods - even Mommy ate dry Frosted Flakes and Honey Nut Cheerios (and a couple Donettes, of course).  After morning devotions, I turned on The Little Mermaid - trying to be faithful to the water theme for the day.  When I was their age, rainy days meant blankets draped over a card table and extended just far enough to include the tiny and grainy antenna-tv in the basement.  These days it's a Discovery Channel nylon tent with Disney movies on the flat-screen.  Times have changed.

And because I'm all about food making the day special, this was Micaiah's lunch (I emphasize it as Micaiah's because a) I only have one six-cup muffin tin for this fun way to serve lunch and b) Emmett isn't a fan of cheese and she's not a fan of peanut butter, so they actually eat different things for lunch):

Emmett was checking out her meal, but his wasn't too bad, either.

Lunch-time entertainment was "The Incredibles."

Overall, it was a pretty fabulous and relaxing rainy day.  As Philip put it, upon seeing the photos I e-mailed him, "They're living like rock-stars."  I'm pretty sure they'd agree.

1,000 Gifts:

109. Muffin-Tin Meals

110. Meals shared in an unconventional location.

111. Cheesy Potato Soup - the only meal with which my daughter never argues.

112. Trading cereal with my wishy-washy son.

113. Ten minutes of family time in a gas station parking lot as the rain patters the ceiling.

114. Copycat biscuits to appease the husband who is sick of the soup.

Taking Time for Play: Funny Faces

This may not have been taken today, but it is recent and it fits the theme, so we're just going to run with it.

Of a Long (but Good) Weekend

Joey had quite the eventful weekend - meeting Nenaw & Papaw for the first time (they loved him, of course - who wouldn't?), his first St. Patrick's Day (he was sure to wear the obligatory green all day), and attending the Grand Opening of the Covenant Store in Tulsa (with which his daddy has been greatly involved).  Sure, he may have slept through the vast majority of these thrilling days, but he was honored just to be there.  A few photos:

He started the day right - wearing his "My First St. Patrick's Day" p.j.'s from Grandma & Grandpa.

At the Covenant Store with Daddy.

Resting with Daddy after a long day (and back in those great p.j.'s again).

Saying "Good-bye" to Nenaw - can't wait to visit again!

Papaw and his great-grandsons.

1,000 Gifts:
91. A love that hurts at the thought of loss.
92. Friends so close to my heart it hurts not to have them close.
93. Opportunities that may change our lives.
94. Rays of light peeking through the clouds.
95. All three children napping at the same time.
96. Tired toddlers giving into the late-night hour.
97. "Turning" thanks with Nenaw & Papaw.
98. Tiny green shirts ready for tiny bodies.
99. Banners, advertising favorite games, adorning the evidence of hard work and a step of faith.
100. A miniature yellow butterfly flitting from weed to weed as I do chores on the other side of the glass.
101. A little one curled up as he receives his nourishment.
102. Realizing I don't even know what condiments my husband needs for dinner - six years and still so much to learn.
103. Ketchup - the perfect dipping sauce for everything (even apples?) - to  toddler, anyway.
104. A diaper bag, overflowing with needs met and yet waiting to be met.
105. Sonic - and fresh corndogs - to end a road trip.
106. A list of produce overflowing from my fridge.
107. An unexpected card to let us know they care.
108. Recipes waiting to be tested.


#Taking Time for Play:  Sunshine:
The sun took the time to peek through the clouds on our drive to Tulsa.

Music: 
Joey and I got to drive alone between Nenaw & Papaw's house in Chelsea and the store in Tulsa - an hour (nearly) alone in the car?  Of course I need some great tunes - thus this mix from my high school days - love it!

Pink:
Micaiah, all decked out in pink, got to join Papaw as he did the chores.  She was reluctant to get any closer to the horse than this, but eventually came to within two feet of Frank!