Of a Confident Little Man

I would just like to announce that it has taken Emmett five days to get to the same point it took Micaiah two years to reach.  Now, I'm not comparing children.  I know they are both equally intelligent and capable, but one of them had an older sibling going potty and is now awfully proud to be "big like 'Caiah"!

This new status, that of a potty trained boy, has added a little swagger to his step.  I kid you not that he is noticeably more confident now that he knows how to stay clean and dry.  And we had an accident-free day, even after going to church twice.  He didn't go while we were out, but he went immediately after getting home and has only needed a diaper to sleep (but I'm not too worried about that, yet).

Oh man.  And they said boys were harder.  Psht on them (whoever they are).

1,000 Gifts:
839. Spaghetti Squash tried again (not sprouted)
840. Allowing me to say her prayer (even after a tooth-brushing fiasco)
841. Her snuggled up while I read 
842. "Who's a big boy?" "Me!" - confidence is hard to beat
843. Real conversations with real women
844. A reminder to make the days count
845. Having these moments while they last
846. Setting out clothes for that coming baby nephew

Whole 30 - Day 29!
Breakfast - Salsa & Egg Omelet, Banana
Lunch - Salsa, Sausage & Egg Omelet (we were kind of out of any other options - but this was a great one!), Clementine
Dinner - Spaghetti (Squash) and Meatballs

Worst Part of Today: Stocking up on cereal (hey, it was on sale and we're getting grains back SOON) and not being able to sneak even just a little.

Best Part of Today: Giving Spaghetti Squash another fair shot and realizing everyone is right - it's pretty good, especially as a healthier option to spaghetti.  Even Micaiah (who I think still connected it to the previous fiasco even though I hoped she wouldn't notice) admitted it's really good with sauce.  Whew!  

Of Finding Success(ish)

I just want everyone to know, Day Two of Potty Training (the second edition) involved much fewer tears and many loud cheers.

After yesterday, we were fully ready to pull an audible and declare him unfit for the task at the current time, but having potty-trained him into a corner, where he wouldn't wet his pants but wouldn't use the toilet, we felt we owed it to him to at least push through and continue to encourage progress.

And, while he still has his moments, our little man is learning to run his tushy to the potty to do his business.  Either that, or he announces, "I'm not poop!" which, most certainly translates to, "I need to go potty!" - at which point Mommy and Daddy have to convince the little guy holding onto his underwear that this is, indeed, what he wants to do (and if our encouragement doesn't work, a gentle reminder that marshmallows await his success is generally enough to do the trick).

Either way, we have officially confirmed today that he does know how to control his functions and he is compliant enough to actually follow through (even when he sometimes doesn't want to).

That's not to say today was without its accidents - he's still learning - but we are fully convinced he is on the right path.

Glory, hallelujah!

1,000 Gifts:
823. A fresh tomato cut for lunch
824. The lawn, lacking weeds
825. Zucchini, sliced and baked
826. New uses for that which had been labeled useless
827. Helping him reach his potential
828. Rediscovering potential
829. Finding homes for everything
830. Six years later and finally enjoying his likes

Whole 30 - Day 26
Breakfast: Scrambled Eggs, 1/2 an apple, Sweet Potato Cinnamon Hashies (I was disappointed I didn't get them very crunchy, and they definitely needed salt, but the kids loved them)
Lunch: Leftover Mexi Salad
Dinner: Baked Chicken Thighs (marinated in homemade Italian dressing), Green Beans, Salad with Homemade Raspberry Vinaigrette, Raisins and Sliced Almonds

Of Potty-Training, Second Edition

For those of you who have followed this blog for awhile, you know that potty training has been a harrowing experience for us.  When recently asked my one piece of parenting advice, it was this, "Never potty train.  Ever."

Now, I understand every child is different and I understand my little strong-willed child is the exception to the rule.  And she now wears underwear 24/7 and is content to approach her fourth birthday as a potty trained child.  Woohoo!

And since the last two and a half years were so rewarding and wonderful, we decided we'd jump right back into the world of potty training again (insert rolling of the eyes here).

Okay, truthfully, I could have happily waited until Emmett just up and got sick of his diaper and taught himself, but the poor kid has been showing signs of readiness - announcing when he's gone and asking to sit on the potty - for awhile now and I didn't really think it fair to ignore him just because his sister was a potty-training nightmare.

So we decided this nice three-day weekend would be the perfect time to devote to our middle child.  We sent sissy off to Mommy and Daddy's bedroom with the iPad (seriously, it's the best baby-sitter), tucked Joey in for his morning nap and showered Emmett in lemonade (we had crackers ready to provoke his little taste buds to drink more, but this kid needed no help - he, honestly, drank two quarts of lemonade today, including a full sippy before breakfast), raisins (for staying dry) and quality time.

He quickly learned it was good to stay dry (yay, raisins!) and sad to be wet.  He also learned his pee-pee goes in the potty.

Unfortunately, for some reason, he decided he hated going in the potty.  He cries every time.

Herein lies the problem.  He knows going in his pants is a bad idea.  So he doesn't do that.  But he's scared to go in the potty.  So he doesn't do that.  This leaves us with an awkwardly squirmy kid, crossing his legs and holding himself trying to keep it all in because he doesn't know where he does want to put it.  So then he sits on the potty and cries and cries until he just can't stand it any longer and it comes out.

Of course, once it's done, he's happy to have his marshmallows and the happy cheers of everyone around.  Just not happy enough to be excited to do it again.

Sigh.

Someday we'll have a happy little potty-trainer.  Someday.

1,000 Gifts:
819. Having just what someone needs when it's needed
820. Raisins and lemonade
821. A place for everything
822. A fear overcome

Whole 30 - Day 25
Breakfast - Scrambled Eggs, Fresh-Squeezed Orange Juice
Lunch - Leftover Butternut Squash Lasagna
Dinner - Leftover Chicken Parmesan

Worst Part of the Day: Realizing my husband and I were not on the same page regarding our goals for this program and our dreams of how we'll be eating afterward.  We're working on it.  (Also, rewarding a little guy with marshmallows while not sneaking a few ourselves.)

Best Part of the Day:  Being to the point where I don't really have to think very hard about what we'll be eating.  Eating this way is almost a habit now.

Of Telling the Truth

For those who have followed the potty training saga, you know it has been a struggle.  However, for the past few months, Micaiah has been doing great.  She still wears a diaper/training pants at nap-time and bed-time, but we're happy with where we're at for the present.  When she's ready to potty, she pulls her little white step-stool up to the toilet, pulls her potty seat from its hook and sets it in place, then climbs up and takes care of business.

It can be a struggle, though, when it's time for bed and she is hesitant to go to sleep.  One way in which she rebels is to drag her feet in going potty.  She'll go in the bathroom and hide behind the door, or (if she doesn't want to be spanked for that) she'll simply move as slow as humanly possible in putting everything in place.  It's a habit we've been trying to break.

Thus, this afternoon, when it was time for a nap, it was no surprise to me when she refused to go potty.  I once again commanded her before I went a separate direction to get something else done.  When I returned, I noted the light on the in the bathroom, but no stool in front of the toilet, or even in the room, and the potty seat was still on its hook, though I had never heard her move it to or from.  This girl was going to be in T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

"Micaiah!" I yelled calmly stated, "Why aren't you on the potty?!"
"Because I already make water." [that's her self-created euphemism]
"Are you lying to me?" I asked angrily as I went to retrieve the stool from the kitchen (a task I would normally assign to her, but this getting-ready-for-bed thing was taking too long already), surprised she would lie about using the potty - she has lied about other things, but we can always count on the truth in this matter.
"No."
"Then how did you go potty without a stool?" I asked, smugly, holding up the white object that was so clearly catching her in her deception.
Innocently, she shrugged, "I just climbed up."
I noticed, then, that she was wearing underwear, but no pants.  She typically only takes off the pants after going potty.  Could she really be telling the truth?
"Show me." I demanded.
Sure enough, there goes my little three-year-old, into the bathroom as she pulls down her underpants and lifts herself to the seat - no stool, no potty seat, just her and the toilet, like a big girl.

When did this happen?!  Oh my word, she's growing up!

1,000 Gifts:
133. A long-distance relationship with my sister, kept alive via Google chat.
134. Our wonderful neighbor who isn't afraid to try new recipes - we're always willing guinea pigs.
135. A gracious heart learning to trust in the Lord for her needs.
136. A small green tin, adorned with images of Santa Claus, filled with plastic jewels to help our little girl celebrate the tv's "pretend birthday."
137. A glass cake platter topped with delicious Coca-Cola Carrot Cupcakes.
138. A new way to use an old shelf.


Taking Time for Play: Toys
When Micaiah saw this shelf this morning - one I had pulled from Joey's closet and put out for a new purpose - filled with toys, she exclaimed, "Can I play with them?!"

Of Our Amazing Kids

I will have to admit: a babymoon is one of the greatest inventions ever.  I feel as though I came out of it more in love with my husband - thanks to the quality, child-free time we able to share - and ready to be a "mommy" again.

I've now felt myself truly cherishing these final moments, days, weeks before our time is channeled, once again, into caring for a newborn and suddenly divided between three, rather than simply two (not to mention time for each other!).  It's these little moments, like snuggles with our little cuddle-bug of a son or playing dolls or hide-and-seek with our adventuresome daughter (whose favorite, and almost cutest, phrase is, "Wanna play wit me?") which are held so dear.

But it's also those moments in which I get to be simply an on-looker which are so priceless.  Like yesterday when I really didn't want to put them down for a nap as they sat in the entryway of our home simply playing together - so happy, so peaceful.  Or today, as Micaiah played on her own and Emmett came to see over her shoulder what she was doing; noticing him back there, she leaned her head back onto his shoulder and he placed his tiny arm around her.  Seconds later, when I thought she was going to yell at him for playing with an unapproved toy, she, instead, leaned in and pecked him on the cheek.

I love these two.  And I love how much they love each other.

Given the above anecdotes, I'm sure you can imagine how the room-sharing is going.  They adore waking up to each other.  When I went in to retrieve them this morning, this is what I found:

It took a full two or three minutes before Emmett even looked up and Micaiah never even noticed I was there until she saw the flash of the camera.  They were both so engrossed in their reading material, as they lounged on her bed.  Yeah, they're pretty much the greatest.

And on an unrelated note (except for noting the amazingness of our children), Micaiah announced this morning, "Mommy, I'm going to go into the potty and make water right now."  And then she did!  In case you're unaware, this is not exactly the first time she has gone on her own, but this is the first time she has done so on this particular leg of this seemingly endless potty training journey - as in, it's been months almost since we've heard her announce her intentions and then follow through.  Just for that, she got not one "white donut," but two.  She pretty much could have asked for a pony in that moment and I might have tried to figure out how to work it into the budget.  Have I mentioned I am so ready for this girl to be potty trained?

Of Torturous Toilet Training

We've been dousing our little girl in Kool-Aid lately (ok, not literally - just refilling her cup as quickly as it empties) in an effort to keep that little body needing to potty.  The more she fills herself with liquid, the further cause she has to practice what needs to be a regular skill.

Yesterday was torturous.  There were many outfit changes and floor cleanings and a couch cushion cover thrown into the laundry.  Today was better.  We had one accident and one definite success (I consider her showing initiative in this department to be a success - following our leading is a nice step in the right direction, but someday she'll need to know to go to the potty when Mommy and Daddy aren't there to tell her to do so).

What will tomorrow hold?  We shall see.

God is definitely using this season of our lives to teach us patience.  I have seen a lot of ugliness in myself in my never-ending frustration in this department.  As I broke down in tears yesterday when my daughter simply would not learn, I fell into a shallow pit of despair.  I felt utterly helpless.

She didn't care.  Nothing could make her care.  We could talk to her all day long.  We could spank her until we were all red.  Nothing was making a difference.  The only results were a frustrated and angry family all-around.  And she doesn't deserve that.  None of us do.


She asked me, yesterday, after the above scene of sobbing and letting go, "Mommy, do you like me?"

If that doesn't break a Momma's heart, I don't know what does.


God has used this time to break me and remind me that I am not always the one in control - nor should I be.

And so we wait.  We encourage.  We discipline when necessary.  But we will always love.

Of Spinning Our Wheels

I know I sound like a broken record, but you can trust me, it's even more annoying for me to still be talking about potty training as a process than it is for you to be reading about it - again.

I look around and see Micaiah's friends who all potty trained in different ways and at different times, but for them, the process is generally regarded as complete.  Sure, they may still have hurdles, such as naptimes or night-times - I honestly don't know their routines.  But I know they can go to church in their underwear and come home with it dry (as a general rule).

I still can't trust Micaiah to do that.

Because we still can't trust her to tell someone when she needs to go.

She goes when we ask her to - and even then, only if she's in a good mood.

Which is why the latest tactic is to try as hard as I possibly can to keep her in a good mood regarding the potty - so she'll at least go when she's asked.

Yes, I know, that's generally considered the rule - make it a positive experience.  And that's what we tried the first six months (or eight months, or who knows how long, really), and then, as not necessarily the most patient parents in the world, we let our ugly sides come out.  We saw her stubbornness - the fact that this overly intelligent three-year-old knows the process and chooses to to ignore it out of spite and sheer independence of will (as in, she won't go in the potty for the simple fact that she knows it's what we want) - and we bit back.

So, now we're back to the patient route.

Because we just plumb don't know what to do.

Unless potty training boot camp is an option.

It's not, right?

Of Potty Frustrations

I know it's entirely common in potty training, so I'm not looking for sympathy, just an outlet.

Micaiah, it would seem, has decided, once again, that she just plain doesn't care.

For quite awhile she had been going when we asked (not always happily, but she'd do it anyway) and even had begun running herself to the potty when she knew she needed it.  She was no longer even demanding a reward.  Being a big girl, it would seem, was its own reward.  We were living in a fantasy land of few accidents, dry underwear and happy parents.

Apparently the dream is over.

About a week ago she began going in her pants to defy us - if she was sent to time-out or told to sit in her booster seat until she'd finished her sandwich, she would sometimes emerge with wet pants.  This, of course, was frustrating.

And then, just yesterday, she began just letting go - whenever she felt like it - and not telling anyone about it.  She would be spotted with a large dark spot on her pants and, when questioned as to why she chose not to tell anyone, would shrug her shoulders and say, "I was playing."  She did not go in the potty once yesterday - despite being sent to try numerous times (usually that's all it takes).

Oh, if ever there is a moment in child-rearing when you just want to throw in the towel and ship them to potty-training boot camp, that was it.

This girl is the most stubborn being on the planet.  I have no idea where she gets it - I was certainly never that way (don't ask my parents, they're getting senile in their old age).

Of All Three of Them

All of my precious babies have updates today - what a day!

Micaiah: We're on three days in a row where our little girl has consistently not only used the potty, but did so after telling us she needed to!  And we've only had one wet pull-up in about four days (not counting sleep times)!  Rejoice!

Emmett: As I tinkered on my laptop this evening, I noticed him watching me out of the corner of his eye and saw the most proud smile on his face, as if to say, "Are you seeing this?"  And that's when I realized, seeing my son standing up with a toy in his hands - not touching anything else - is not a normal sight!  I quickly applauded him and he finally gave his legs a rest by leaning forward on the ottoman.  But he spent the rest of the evening standing for a second or two before dropping again and starting over.  Yay!

Baby Penguin: Apparently he/she has experienced a growth spurt in the last month, according to the midwives, as they measured the size of my expanding mid-section.  Meanwhile, this growth spurt has apparently not affected me negatively as I've actually dropped a pound in the same amount of time.  That'll teach those midwives to ask me with a wary eye what I've been eating.  (Please note, despite the smug nature of my previous statement, I am, in fact, eating, very much, just not more than I need and not tons of things I shouldn't be.  Please don't be concerned for my health.)

Oh, and we'll end with proof of this growing baby:

Of Boys and Girls

When we first began the potty training adventure, I began the task of accruing an acceptable amount of cotton training pants so we would not have to rely solely on the disposable variety.  Thus, when I saw good quality training pants on clearance at our local Supercenter, I snatched them up.  The fact that they were mostly blue (with other primary colors) in nature was irrelevant to me.  Girls can wear blue, and, besides, soon enough (hopefully sooner than someone else waited) we'll have a potty training boy in this house and he won't be using the cute pink florals of his sister.

I thought she was so cute toddling about her in white/blue/orange/yellow/red striped undies.

But that was last time around.

Today, deciding to pull out the underwear again, rather than sticking to bare-bottom-ness, I reached for the closest pair: my favorite blue stripeys.  And I asked Micaiah, "Do you want to wear these ones?"

Her eyes widened and she whispered (for the first and only time this morning, despite my repeated commands to do so), "Those are boys!"

My first thought: "Who told you?!"

When did that little girl grow up?

Of Staying Accident Free

If this home were an official work place, we'd have a sign hanging in the bathroom saying, "Accident Free for 2 Days!"  That's right - she's getting into the swing of things and, though Monday was rough, she seems to enjoy her alone time in the potty these days and has fallen into somewhat of a routine, where I hear less arguing when it's time to go and have even heard on more than one occasion, "I have to go potty!" followed by the pitter patter of little feet.

So, folks, it looks like we're well on our way to having a potty trained toddler - finally!  If she keeps it up, I might even be able to say she was potty trained when she was two (only a week and a half to go before that bragging right is gone).

Now we're working on the finer points - like not playing in the sink when it's time to wash our hands or spending five minutes making faces in the mirror.  "Hurry up, Helga!"

Of Success (in Small Ways)

Are you ready for your weekly potty training update?  Otherwise known as: way more than you ever wanted to know about our daughter's bathroom habits.

For those who are actually intrigued by our on-going battle, you may be happy to know that today was actually a really exciting day.  We made a very important discovery: if we let her go all on her own, she actually will!  I don't know why it never occurred to us that our independent spitfire might actually prefer a little privacy in the potty, but we have let out the kite string just a tad and she is beginning to soar.

It was an accidental discovery, really.  When I was too lazy to help her this morning, knowing she had no pants under her nightgown, I simply told her to go potty when I felt it was time.  Thus, she ran off and before we knew it, we were listening to the sound of a flushing toilet.  She had gone!  But what was more impressive was about a half hour later when she suddenly announced, "I have to go potty!  I got gas [poo] in my body [booty]!  You don't come!"  And off she ran to do her duty, all by her big girl self.

True, she didn't make any further thrilling announcements the rest of the day, but she obeyed when I asked her to go potty and was successful every time.  She had a dry diaper when we went out and her only business done outside of the bathroom was in her diaper during nap-time.  

We love it.  

And she loves it - which is the goal, really.  In fact, I think she was so darn proud of herself, she completely forgot to demand stickers or cookies when she was done.  Now that's progress.

Of Adorable Antics

Yesterday evening, as Philip put away the lawn mower, I swept the driveway while the kids watched one of the thirty Land Before Time movies on Netflix in the house.  Upon re-entering the house, I noticed, under the closed door, the pantry light had been left on, most likely by my husband who had been in there a moment earlier.

Thinking nothing of it, I popped open the door to flip the switch and there, looking up at me with the two most guilty looks mustered by little faces, were my munchkins, seated next to each other with a carton of Micaiah's "shiny cookies" (the ones with red sprinkles on them she earns as a reward for going potty) between them.  Fortunately, Micaiah has yet to learn the fine art of opening said cookies, so there were no tiny crumbs scattered across the mouths of our contrite little ones.

What am I going to do with those two?

The further adorable aftermath of the above scene was Micaiah declaring her need to go potty (so she could rightfully gain possession of one of those coveted cookies), actually doing so, and then picking the two largest treats from the container - one for her, and one, slightly larger than the other, for her brother.  What a sweetheart.

Of Our Potty Book

Clearly, if you've been reading long, you know I am not the mom to go to for potty training advice.  We, in this house, are potty training failures.  However, can I tell you about our favorite potty book in this house?

First, I'll share, I am not a fan of potty books.  I do not look down on anyone using them, it's just that most are too descriptive for my taste - even if they are informative and helpful (again, my child isn't potty trained - maybe a more descriptive book would have been useful).  But on a lark, I purchased one last holiday season when buying discounted books on-line.  And Micaiah fell in love - and I'll have to admit, I think it's fun, too.

Now, when she's on the potty, she loves for me to read her the book of Potty Animals, all learning their potty manners.  I love that it covers so many good tips for little kids who are potty training - the concept of going before you sleep, washing your hands, flushing, and not waiting too long (for boys it even covers lifting the seat and perfecting your aim).  It's truly adorable.  She loves when I read it and then let her repeat the commands to the animals, so she can tell them the right way to behave in the potty.

Adorable, really.  Now, if she would take the words to heart, we'd be on a roll!

Of Experimental Parenting

As with most first children, parenting Micaiah tends to be an experiment.

I have felt sorry for Philip in the past because, as we would make a discipline decision together one day, the next day, feeling it just wasn't working, I would change tactics and have to remember to tell him when he got home.  Most likely, I would forget, he would try to reinforce a rule that was now antiquated and I would find myself saying, once again, "Oh, we're not doing that anymore - I think this will work better."  Poor guy.  It's not his fault his wife apparently stinks at consistency.

But, in reality, parenting, I feel, is a constantly shifting wave, a continual re-evaluating of what's working and what's just not.

Thus, considering the three lessons we've learned regarding Micaiah and her potty training, something very obvious stuck out to me.  When we are home, I ask our little girl quite frequently, in the hopes of warding off future messes, if she has to go.  Every time, with increasing frustration, she insists she does not.  If I urge her to try anyway, I am often met with hostility, which is a bad sign for me because I want to keep this a positive experience (as in, we want her to actually like the potty so she'll actually use it - that's kind of key).  So, today, I made (yet another) new decision: we would simply stop asking.  If it's her stubborn streak keeping her from training, we need to give her the opportunity to actually tell us if she needs to visit the toilet - which is what happens when we're out of the house.  See?  It seems so obvious, doesn't it.

Of course, this only occurred to me halfway through the day, after her first couple of accidents on the floor (thank goodness for laminate flooring - she's currently not allowed to play in the carpeted rooms of our home), so we haven't seen a drastic change yet, but she did notify her daddy of an evening mishap right away, rather than waiting until he discovered it (as she'd been doing in the past).  Maybe she really does like this new sense of responsibility.

Fingers crossed, anyway.

Of Potty Training (Take 3)

Here we are on Day 2 of our third (fourth?) attempt at potty training our little girl.

I had a moment yesterday when I suddenly remembered our previous seven-month-long endeavor and the fact that she actually would go out without accidents and be able to let us know when she needed to make a visit to the potty while we were at, say, Wal-Mart.  Home, however, was another story - she didn't seem to mind creating a mess in her own house.  This was what finally caused me to throw in the towel - seven months of a toddler on the brink of embracing the concept without ever making the plunge.

I decided then and there, in my car yesterday afternoon, this is it.  We're done playing games.  We're not turning back; we're jumping in with both feet.  We'll do it positively, encouragingly, and with much applause and smiles, of course, but we'll make it clear - this is it.

Upon awaking from her nap, I declared there would be no more FuzziBunz [cloth diapers] for her.  Confused, she ran to her closet, pointed to the brimming diaper basket and reminded me, "Yes, more FuzziBunz!"

"Nope," I told her, "We're giving those to Emmett.  You'll have to learn to use underwear."

But for now, we're not using anything at home.  We've tried it before and, yes, it was messy, but I know our mess-hating daughter will hate the idea of piddling on the floor at this point in her life.  So, today, while she didn't exactly tell us she had to go, and wasn't very enthusiastic about trying, she certainly held it for a long time.

And, eventually, she gave in and headed to the potty, when I knew she probably couldn't hold it much longer.

So, here's what we've learned: she can resist the urge to go, she can tell us beforehand if she wants to, but she hates, under all circumstances, being told what to do.

We'll see how this goes.