Of My Perfect Day

For many years, I have lamented my summer birthday. My summer birthday that is less than a week before the Fourth of July - meaning I had no fun surprises at school, no balloons at my locker, no one singing to me in the halls, no elementary school parties (except for the lame one that covers "all the summer birthdays"), and to top it off, by the time my birthday came, everyone was out of town, so no party, in general. Lame.

Then, I got married and you'd think that would be a built-in celebration - after all, my family isn't going on vacation without me, so they have to be with me on my birthday. True. But I happened to marry a man whose special day is only three days after mine. So, out of a perfect storm of failed birthday pasts, fear of no one actually planning anything for birthday celebrations at all, and needing to budget for two birthdays in one week, I took over all planning on my own. I would plan a special day for the two of us to celebrate together just to be sure I got to celebrate at all.

And then, out of the gratefulness of my heart, I lamented those birthdays, as well. Because I just wanted a day that someone else planned, that I didn't have to do anything but be the birthday girl. Because it's my party, and I'll cry if I want to.

And bless my husband's heart. He has tried. And the few times I have loosened the reigns of planning a little, told him, "That's it - this year I'm not planning anything!" I have always taken it back, mostly. So he has tried. And he has succeeded a few times and I have truly enjoyed the efforts everyone has put in to every one of my birthdays. Really, I do. But in the end, I didn't know how to really appreciate it all.

But this year was different.

This year, I had just been traveling off and on for three weeks solid. So I was done planning. And I was out of money. So, I was simply letting go of birthdays and letting the chips fall where they may. It looks like we got each other tires for our birthdays, anyway - woohoo.

And then I got a card (complete with fake grapes) from a precious friend promising an adventure. And because I don't know how to not whine, I still whined about giving up my birthday weekend - a rare free Saturday this summer - to someone else. I'm a peach to live with, I tell you.

But she did not disappoint. We enjoyed a mini road trip to neighboring towns, exploring antique shops, sharing histories and buying fried pies. She took me to a local "wildlife" park - something that wouldn't be considered worth the price of admission considering the overabundance of donkeys and llamas - disproportionate to the amount of actual wild animals present in the park. But then you have to consider your company. And the laughter that comes from mocking the poor, fat, over-fed-by-park-visitors-like-us creatures that come to the car windows, knowing you've bought cups full of junk-food-feed just for them and knowing you're a sucker for those big teeth and furry heads.

The memories that come from chucking a cup full of feed at an approaching camel because you're freaked out if he gets his head in that window while you were trying to take a picture, you'll never be able to get it back out - those memories are priceless. 

Worth every. darn. penny. 

Afterward, we stopped by what we thought would be an average antique store, though it boasted the word "museum" - and learned that hidden inside was a trove of antique cars in mint condition and Harley Davidsons in styles we never even knew existed, and a shop-owner so happy to just have visitors and eager to talk. Unexpected beauty in unexpected places.

It was definitely the #happybirthday2016 #adventure I was promised. 

And that would have made for a satisfying birthday by itself.

And then the actual day on the calendar rolled around. On the heels of a VERY difficult Monday - the kind of day that left me in tears at midnight, hating the fact that this was already my birthday and I didn't even want it.

I woke up with fresh eyes, but a groggy brain, dressed for a doctor's appointment, armed with garden-fresh tomatoes to take to the sister-in-law afterward and left home. Yet, I knew the day had potential. So, while dropping off the tomatoes, I posed a possibility. Would she go with me to a little town an hour away to buy myself a dress I'd seen on my birthday #adventure and hadn't been able to stop thinking about? She peered around, considered the possibility and went with it. What a blessing that decision was. Precious car time with this girl I don't spend enough time with, discussing what's really going on in our lives. Two new outfits (one for me, one for an itty-bitty-pretty back home), two baskets of peaches and a bag of onions later, we made it back home.

And that would have made for a satisfying birthday by itself.

I spent the afternoon watching TV with the kids while coloring in the new book my sweet husband purchased for me (not because he had to - because I told him, we got tires, remember? - but because he truly wanted to buy something just for me) and then, finally, FINALLY scrolling through my Facebook feed.

Now, I'm typically not a fan of Facebook birthday wishes - repetetive greetings - many by people who I treasure, but some by people I'm thinking "Who are you, again?" - it has become almost an annoyance. But this birthday, inspired by a friend more creative than I, I had requested something more - memes for my birthday, laughter to brighten the droll obligatory birthday greetings. And those friends of mine did not disappoint. I chuckled, smiled and rolled my eyes through over a hundred special greetings and memes selected just for me - each one reflecting a bit of that friend and making me remember why I'm glad they're in my life. I later heard from many that my Facebook birthday feed was the highlight of their day and it was hilarious fodder for conversation over coffee and cake with friends later that evening. Truly - it was amazing.

And that would have made for a satisfying birthday by itself.

But it wasn't over yet.

After memes, naps, the library, dinner made by my wonderful husband, cake, candles, an imagined visit from the Birthday Bird of Katroo (the kids insisted Daddy read me the same Dr. Seuss story we read them every year on their birthdays) and kisses good-bye, it was off to Bible Study where I was challenged by the incredible Priscilla Shirer and enjoyed spiritual discussions with sweet ladies, after which, I was told I was going out for coffee (not invited, mind you, told!). 

But on my way, I was captured by the most brilliant sunset. With clouds overhead, the sun was limited to bursting through a thin break just at the horizon. It was streaks of orange and yellow and purple that one couldn't just look away from. It hurt me to turn my back on it to go anywhere else. So I didn't. I chased it down, tried to capture it on camera (impossible) and just reveled in the beauty. Like a birthday gift from the Creator Himself.

Finally, tearing myself away, I headed to my last stop for the night - that demanded coffee date. As I emerged from the car, notes of "Happy Birthday to you!" wafted over the Starbucks parking lot, from the patio with waiting friends at a table decorated just for me. We enjoyed cake, much laughter and delightful conversation. I even got to use my free birthday drink from Starbucks - a venti (because, why not?!) Double Fudge Bar Frappuccino, with waffle cone sprinkles, java chips suggested by the barista and a drizzle of caramel sauce (because why not just add everything you can imagine when it's all free anyway?). This close to Heaven, I tell you. We sat in the dark, listening to the ambiance of the weed-trimming next door, and were just girls - moms with breaks from the kids - for just an evening.

And that made it a satisfying birthday, all together.

I truly could not have asked for a better day.

And the best part was, I didn't have to plan any of it in advance. It just happened. It fell together through spontaneity and the careful planning of others. I was free to sit back and let the chips fall where they may - and they did - into beautiful places.

So, thank you, officially, to all of you who participated, either in person, or on-line, or over the phone. I treasure each one of you and feel more loved than you can imagine.

And PS - Those summer birthdays, I've realized, are a treasure in and of themselves. Because of my summer birthday, I've spent some of my past special days at Disneyland with my family, being sung to in Spanish down in Peru, at a carnival with friends, gifted with bottles of root beer by sweet campers in Maine, enjoying my favorite restaurant that's not local, while on a road trip with my husband and kids and being sung to under the dark cloudy, but warm sky over Starbucks, staying up too late because we can. Summer birthdays, I've decided, are kind of awesome.

Of That Itty Bitty Girl's First Year

While this past year has definitely been a difficult one for me, it has also been an absolute treasure watching my Itty-Bitty Pretty grow - well, maybe not grow a ton, but definitely mature. She has been such a blessing.

Her smile brightens my day - and she was an early smiler! Many were impressed to hold our wee little one and see her flash that grin that seems to fill her whole face. And now that she has five little pearly whites in there, the charm is irresistable.

Her army crawl was another early development. Her curiosity pushed her to get herself wherever she wanted to be so she could explore and make discoveries on her own.

She is most certainly a go-getter.

These days, she crawls with ease, pulls up and cruises around the furniture and can even bring herself to let go and stand on her own tiny two legs for about a minute or so (though no steps, yet, which is not at all unusual for our family).

She is fearless and so rough and tumble. She loves the cat and still doesn't care that he has made it clear he's not always a fan of her. She still chatters and smiles big when she sees him - grasping for handfuls of hair. If she falls over, she picks herself up without even a whimper, ready to keep going.

She is so smart and is a problem solver. All of our children have found themselves trapped under our bar-height dining chairs - stuck among the four horizontal foot rails joining the four legs, having crawled under, sat up and not having the space to lay back down to crawl again. So when she found herself stuck in that position for the first time, I went to grab my camera - but she had crawled right over one of those foot rails before I could even turn it on - without batting an eye. At her age, she is still supposed to believe if she can't see something it has disappeared - but not this girl. If something drops out of view, she searches for it. But then, again, I think she figures if she drops her peas over the side of the high chair they're gone for good.

Because she does not like vegetables.

This girl is all about the protein. She adores meat (unlike her wanna-be vegetarian big sister who has never liked meat). She'll turn up her nose at green beans and carrots, but ham and chicken will disappear in a flash. Cheese is a big favorite, too. And, of course, appleasauce - which she can suck out of a pouch in five seconds flat.

She says Mama, Dada and Hi (with the accompanying wave, of course). We also swear we've heard some other words in there (like the occasional "Aunt Da-ya"), but those are unconfirmed.

She is such a delight to everyone in this house. Her big sister can't get enough of her and her brothers love to lay on the floor with her and watch her play (though the younger-older one is still close enough in age to be jealous of her toys). She lights up when her Daddy walks into the room and the feeling is clearly mutual.

I have truly savored every moment with this precious girl more than I can honestly say I have done in the past. Before, I had been too rushed, too ready for the next stage. But I'm now at a place where I can see it all ends so fast - these moments are irreplaceable and I wouldn't trade them for another clean dish or un-cluttered counters.

I so love this beautiful girl.

Happy Birthday, my Princess Pea.

Her birth-day. It was rough work, but I was already smitten.

Her first smile - at a week old. Too cute.

This is still my computer back drop. It was her first bow.

Getting ready for the big move at only two weeks old!

Friends who nap together stay together.

That funny grin (Two Months)

My sleeping beauty (Three Months)

That precious grin!

Visitng Gram and Grandy in Nebraska - she sure does make me happy!

Matching with Daddy (Four Months)

Finally fitting into the beautiful dress Grandma crocheted for her. (Five Months)

Stop it.

What a big milestone - sharing birthdays! (Six Months, of course)

Some of her bows were a little more unconventional.

Her first Halloween costume - that little party dude. (Seven Months)

Dressed up for church! And that grin! (Eight Months)

Celebrating her first Christmas (Nine Months)

First New Year

Fish Faces with Mommy (Ten Months)

Love our Silly Girl! (11 Months)

What?! My first year is almost over?!

Of Yet Another Birthday

I had a friend tell me recently she greatly anticipates my posts on my kids' birthdays. I didn't even realize it was a thing I had done consistently, but looking back at my posts from February 12 (from 2014 and 2013 - even this one from the day before his first birthday!), sure enough. So, there's nothing like a newfound pressure of knowing someone is anticipating this post, but I'll do what I can.

Sure enough, it's been three years. And I don't even know where to start. Because reading those past birthday posts, I'd have to say, yep, he's pretty much the same.

He's still our little trouble-maker with the cutest face that gets us all in trouble. Because it's hard to be frustrated with a kid that looks up at you with big eyes and says, "I want to 'nuggle with you," even though he should be in bed. And that giggle - don't even get me started on that precious giggle that digs right down from his gut.

It's true what they say, about every child being different. And this guy, he's our tough one. Or maybe our laidback one - the one that takes what life gives him and just lets it slide. He's happy with what he's been given and rolls with the punches. I've honestly never seen this kid throw a tantrum and he only gets downright angry if a sibling is being unfair to him or if he's being disciplined for one of his many mischievous antics.

He says silly things just to watch us giggle and he covers his face when he knows he's being ridiculous. He has a strong shy streak that causes him to shut down if a stranger asks a question (not necessarily a bad quality), and, when he does so, very little will coax him out. Because once he's made a decision, he sticks with it. If he begs for dessert and then decides he's done two bites in, no amount of reverse pyschology will convince him otherwise. I taunt him by pretending to take a bite, and he shoves it right toward me, as if to say, "You go ahead. I said I'm done and I'm done."

He is our first easy potty trainer. I hesitated to ever announce we had started the process with him, because for his siblings, it seemed it never ended. In fact, he keeps his nap-time diaper clean and dry while his older brother still couldn't care less. And every time, I want to give him the biggest hug ever, because potty training has been the most horrible battle of my parenting career.

This kid is going to be a star at life - because when he has decided to succeed at something, he will do so. We have a challenge ahead of us to funnel that determined spirit in the right direction, but I look forward to seeing where it takes him.

As I "nuggled" with our little Joseph this evening after the lights were out - a rare treat for the birthday boy - I marveled at his tiny, yet big little body. This boy, this growing little person, came from my womb. He would not have existed were it not for the love between his daddy and I - he was shaped and formed in my own body and it is our privilege to raise him - to care for him, kiss his owies, snuggle his sweet face and tickle his little belly.

There's no greater reason to celebrate than that.

Of His Second Birthday

It was two years ago that our youngest boy made his frantic and harrowing arrival into this world. Two years ago that I gave birth on my bedroom floor to the little baby without a name and snuggled him close, not at all disappointed not to have had the baby sister Micaiah had insisted was coming.

And that kid.

I wish I could describe him accurately, but words won't do him justice. If you could just spend a day or two with this child, you would see what I mean.

You'd see the way he lights up a room with his ever-present grin. He is truly the most expressive and joyful child we have had - and considering the other two weren't terribly cranky kids, that's saying something. (Even his most recent exclamation of "Ew, yucky!" as we change his diaper accompanies an appropriate facial expression of disgust.) The way he says, "Tank ou" every time anything is given to him - and will repeat it ("Tank ou, Momma. Tank ou, Momma. Momma, tank ou!") until he is told he is welcome. And, of course, he responds with the same courtesy, "Welcome!" with pointed politeness whenever gratitude is expressed to him.

You'd see how he puckers his precious lips whenever Momma asks for a kiss, or how she doesn't even have to ask often, because he offers them freely to everyone. In fact, you'd melt at the kisses he blows EVERY time he tells someone bye, bye or the way he has to run to the other bedroom for hugs and kisses with brother and sissy every night before bed, scampering off yelling, "Tisses, Caiah!" And the way they greet him eagerly, often falling over giggling mid-hug, just as happy with the night-time ritual as he is.

You would think it was adorable the way he runs to the garage door whenever he hears the car pull in, yelling, "Daddy home!" waiting for his hug, or even the way he asks every morning, "Daddy?" as I change his diaper, hoping it's not a work day. But that doesn't mean Mommy doesn't get any appreciation. If I've stepped out for a run to the grocery store, I get to see his happy face as soon as I come through the door, while he's tugging on Daddy, "Momma home! Momma home!" He definitely knows how to make us feel loved.

You'd probably also get to see his ornery streak - the side that snatches a toy from his siblings and runs away with glee, not necessarily because he wanted it, but because he knows they did. Or the angry glare he shoots at anyone who dare suggest he relinquish the pilfered play-thing and then the pouty reluctance with which he offers it back to the child in question.

You would definitely appreciate his eagerness to help. If he sees trash, he holds it up to confirm, "Tash?" and then dashes on his little toddler legs to dutifully place it in the proper receptacle. If we're cooking, he'll pull up a stool to help or run to the cabinet where his dishes are kept to find a plate, fork or cup (or all of the above). And if we're dishing out snack, he'll serve his brother and sister their snack cups before he accepts his own.

And even after noticing all the above, you'd be surprised just how many times a day you won't be able to help saying, "He's just so cute!" because it really is surprising just how many ways it shines through. You kind of want to give him a big hug all the time - unless he's getting into something he shouldn't just about every time you turn your back. Then you'll curse his blessed cuteness because it's just so hard to want to discipline that face.

I can't believe he's only been here two years and I wish I could freeze time, because I just love his tender and spirited personality and I wish I could frame it and keep it forever.

So, happy birthday to this guy - one of the many reasons I smile.