01 June 2010

Retro Tuesday

Okay, apparently I am pigeon-holing myself into a day, as Tuesdays seem to be magic. Ah, such is life. Anyway, another quality post from my wonder years . . .

Saturday, October 29, 2005

While reminiscing last night about Pre-School (or my lack of such an experience), I was inspired to think of certain life lessons I learned in elementary school . . .

- It may be the job of the boy to chase the girl, but sometimes the girl has to make the boy want to chase her (such things as pulling hair and pinching work well in this situation).

- When playing kickball, getting to base is most definitely more important than chasing after the shoe you just kicked off (therefore, winning comes before fashion).

- Boys won't notice whether or not you paint your nails, but they will notice if you chase your shoe instead of running to base (again, winning comes before fashion).

- If an object is stuck in one's nose, the best solution is to close the other nostril and blow (promptly wash your hands).

- If you want to test if your scissors are sharp enough to cut a hole in your shirt, think about what will happen if, indeed, they are (be prepared for the consequences of your actions).

- The best way to get rid of a bothersome boy is to karate chop his arm (my first lesson in self-defense).

- Don't ask questions in class, because chances are it's a stupid question (I had a terrible fourth-grade teacher!).

- There is a rank in the friendship system. Therefore, you may have a best friend, but then you can have a second-best friend and a third-best friend. And being second or third somehow doesn't make you feel like less of a person, as long as you're one of the best.

and last but not least . . .

- A parachute is probably the best form of endless entertainment anyone could imagine.

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