We had our 20-week ultrasound today - which any seasoned parent will tell you is the much-anticipated gender revealer. Let me just post the spoiler here and now - it's a Surprise! That's right. For now, no one but our ultrasound tech knows if this thing is coming out boy or girl.
She did, however, print out a (presumably) lovely photo depicting our little one's secret and sealed it in an envelope for us so we could decide later if we want to spoil the surprise or wait until Christmas morning - figuratively speaking. In this case, Christmas morning would most likely be sometime during the first week of February. I only use the analogy because it's the same one I used in convincing Philip it would be more fun to wait.
In the past, the ultrasound date itself has felt like Christmas morning - receiving the gift of the knowledge of what I am carrying inside me. The anticipation was so great I cried the morning of Emmett's ultrasound when they had to re-schedule (though that was also because I had planned to hop on a plane that same afternoon and give my family the news in person - something we never get to do, and those hopes were dashed with that phone call - sad, sad day). But with Baby #3, I honestly haven't felt the same way. I think it's due mostly in part to the fact that I am truly ambivalent to whether this baby is male or female. I am so happy with either option, the not knowing isn't really killing me.
Thus, I feel like finding out now would be like sneaking into Mommy and Daddy's closet to see what they bought me four months before I actually get to unwrap it and play: thrilling at the moment, but kind of disappointing when it's time to take off the bow (though this is where the analogy breaks down, because I can't really imagine being disappointed, ever, at the birth of a child, but maybe you know what I mean).
So, yes, for now, Baby Penguin has its own little secret and it's not telling - yet.
P.S. I also feel it's important to add because, in reality, it is much more important than the big, "What is it?!" - Baby Penguin is first, and foremost, healthy and whole. Everything looked great and he/she is still on the right growth track. Yay!