The music of Sunday mornings is my re-fueling time, it feels. To have those weekly moments of standing among a chorus of the saints - those fellow believers traveling alongside on this narrow road - as a harmony of voices worships my God with me - I simply feel as though I have been carried to His very throne, standing dirty and unworthy, but so loved.
It was in these moments this morning that God just continued to rip me open, breaking up further fallow ground - pointing out areas of residual bitterness and unforgiveness - unforgiveness that has been festering for years, decades even - and disobedience. I didn't know he could cover so many topics in one twenty-minute span, but our God is the God of the impossible. And suddenly I was broken.
But the theme that just kept echoing in my head was, "He is faithful." There are so many points in my life that I would once have considered hindrances to my walk, which He has completely turned around. Our God is faithful.
People on whom I might have given up have been changed. Relationships I might have considered lost have been restored. Bitterness erased. Forgiveness opened. Our God is Faithful.
One area of my life God has been working lately has been on my submission to my husband. To continue to work this point, I attended a short seminar at a conference our women's ministry hosted yesterday morning. The title of the seminar was, "There is Nothing Weak about Submission" - this title is so accurate as it takes a courageous woman to submit to another's will - to truly trust another to determine and protect one's best interests takes strength and humility.
At the end of our brief session, the dear friend who acted as instructor encouraged the handful of us in the room to remember: we get the easy part. We have simply been called to respect and submit - that's all.
Our husbands, however, have been commanded to love us, their brides, as Christ loved the church - unconditionally and sacrificially. Every moment of every day. To love in such a way is not easy. And yet, this is their charge. To love like Christ.
So, this morning, as I stood beside this man who has sworn to love me in such a way, I recalled how whiny and bitter I had been that very morning about our assignment to work in the church nursery, rather than attend Sunday School with our friends. I'll admit, we both hate these days (another point God was working on, but that's beside the point at the moment).
But as I complained, once more, my husband insisted, "You go to Sunday School; I'll go to the nursery by myself." And he was serious. Now, I, honestly, was not going to leave him alone in a room of toddlers, but the fact that he offered - the fact that he continually offers to do the unpleasant because he knows I don't want to. That's sacrifice. Daily. Daily he takes over what I have considered overwhelming, sacrificing his own wants and needs for rest, down-time, or even his own to-do list.
He is constantly sacrificing for me - even on the days when I have no right to complain.
Loving me the way the church is loved.
Loving me in a way I do not deserve and had even failed to notice most days.
To bless me with such a man - our God is faithful.