10 May 2012

Of Self-Control

Yesterday morning I sat in Bible Study unable to focus, groggy, and altogether useless to anyone.  I had been short and cranky with my children and holding a conversation was a struggle.  I was miserable.  All because I had not gone to sleep until nearly one o'clock that morning.  Of course, having a new-ish little one in the house, you might think I had a good excuse - but if I told you he was in bed by nine, you may think I was crazy for not getting sleep when I could.  And you would be fully justified.

So, again, there I was, the next morning, paying for my poor choices the night before, spending time doing various things around the house, rather than getting the rest I needed.  And suddenly I had a small kinship with all those who had baffled me before with their decisions to imbibe in alcohol to the point where they are absolutely useless to the world not only at the time during which they are drinking, but also the next morning, as they suffer from the inevitable hangover (of which I truly know nothing more than what I've seen on television).

I've always wondered - if they know they'll be so entirely miserable the next morning, why drink it in the first place?

And, yet, there I was, not a victim of my own drunkenness, but a casualty caused by a lack of self-control all the same.  Exhausted, useless and unprepared to deal with the world.  All because I decided it was more fun to shirk my grown-up responsibilities to be sure my body had the rest it needed and give in to my childish tendencies to break the rules (especially self-imposed rules), simply because I can.

When would I learn?  Didn't I know the consequences?  And didn't I make the choices all the same?

And isn't self-control a fruit of the Spirit?

Clearly I'm still a work in progress.

1,000 Gifts:
466. A tiny sticker of Buzz and Woody hidden among the folds of my sheets - these days are so fleeting.
467. The productivity accomplished by ignoring the internet.
468. Pelmeni for dinner.
469. Birthday Parties
470. Big Bird Bandages
480. Acrylic Paint
481. Old furniture made new.

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