29 September 2010

Of Free Will

Well, you knew it would happen didn't you?  I post about how great my kids sleep and then Micaiah goes and digs her heels in today and absolutely refuses to nap.  I was at my wit's end.  She's never done this before (ok, I guess she kind of did when she was ready to cut out her morning nap, but we are NOT giving up nap time altogether, yet; we're just not) and I had no idea how to handle it.

And I'll just confess it right here, I probably did not choose the best way.

But that's not why we're here. 

There was a point during the three-hour struggle when I did nothing but sit in her room as physical motivation for her to do nothing more than simply lay there.  And I thought bitterly that if there were any possible way in this world for me to physically force sleep on her, I would have done it. 

There are many things I can "force" (or highly motivate) her to do.  I can shove food in her mouth when she refuses to eat (definitely a last resort but I'd be lying if I said it hasn't happened).  I can pick her up and carry her to her room if she digs in her heels.  I can swat her bottom until she picks up her toys. 

I cannot tape her eyes shut (ok, I could, but there's a line and DHS scares me) and even if I did, I still can't do anything to make her body shut down and sleep.  I just can't.

And that frustrates me.

It made me think, though, of how God must feel when I deliberately ignore His calling - or at least procrastinate (for years).  Now, it's different with God.  Nothing is impossible for Him.  Yet, He, in His infinite wisdom, granted us free will.  And, for some reason, He never seems to revoke the privilege.  But, oh how it must vex Him when he does everything short of making my arms move of their own power and I simply refuse to follow His command.  And how much more so for Him because He's not just dealing with one stubborn two-year-old but a world filled with disobedient, obstinate, selfish beings who constantly kick at his purposes - even those who claim to follow Him.

"Lord, please forgive my disobedience.  May You always find me faithful and willing."

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