We sang this morning in church words to our Lord that spoke of melting in His overwhelming peace. And as I strove to get past the sound of the syllables on my tongue to a true significance from my heart, tears trickled down.
Have I really known this peace lately?
I have been in the throes of a storm dominating my mind for weeks, if not longer. A raging torrent of wanting to do more, be more, serve more and, yet, feeling always stuck in this place where I am. Bogged down by the possessions through which I wade every day and the mindless entertainment which always clamors for my attention and to which I unceasingly bow. I feel weighed by these children whom I love more than my next breath, but who also require most of my attention and so much of my time - with the feeling that I have nothing left to give.
And the one area in which I have felt led to give, with my time to the children of our church for only one week of the year - this I have been dreading, wishing I had never put the pen to paper and scrawled out my name. Can I not sacrifice even this much from my own selfish life?
This mind of mine, constantly tossing with the judgments of those I have no right to condemn, turning with anger at myself and the sin that so easily entangles, threatened to be thrown over the edge at any moment.
No, peace, I would say, is not a typical characteristic these days.
And, yet, that's what He offers.
This God for whom I say I will give everything offers the one thing I need. And, yet, I have failed to let Him wash over me with the peace he so freely bestows.
Not anymore. I am done. I am His and His peace is mine. I lay it all down today. The God Who calms the storm has been awakened and spoken His Word to my soul.
Along came the next song:
"You are stronger,
You are stronger,
Sin is broken,
You have saved me."
He is and He has. And I am His.