30 March 2012

Of New Growth

I wish I knew how to describe it, but since the realization of Wednesday - the fact that God not only loves me, He likes me; He sacrificed for me, not because He thought I would one day get it all right (because I won't), but because I am His creation - I have felt a change deep within.

Not a change I have forced, as I've attempted to do in the past, but a natural result of realizing Whose I am - really realizing it, allowing my head knowledge to be planted, finally, in the fertile soil of my heart - my once-fallow ground.

I have always had a problem with being judgmental and somewhat prideful.  Though I have tried very hard in the past to reign those thoughts in, when my guard was down they would pour out.  My husband and those closest to me have seen a whole lot of ugly planted in my heart - for out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.  My fallow ground had become very weed-ridden.

I was trying to take every thought captive, so as to catch my problem at the root, in the mind.  But these efforts were all my own.  Only God has the true power to actually uproot the weeds, rather than just pulling at the stems.

In the past couple of days I have noticed these negative thoughts and attitudes I have tried so hard to squelch in the past by my own efforts have simply dissolved.  Not by any effort of my own, they're gone.  Not by my power, but that of Christ alone.  The power I have denied in the past by not allowing myself to truly depend on Him.

How beautiful to live a life fully given over to God.  Someday I'll be there, but for now we're working on it.

1,000 Gifts: 
175. A friendship which had fallen by the wayside with time, but picked up, dusted off and treasured once more.
176. Sleeping when the baby is sleeping; or making him sleep when I'm sleeping.
177. Storming and tickling after nap-time.

Taking Time for Play: Silly Outfit 
Recycling photos from yesterday, I love Micaiah's choice in clothes.  Hearts and Leopard Spots, she's all about mixing patterns - so trendy already.

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